Christmas Isn’t Always “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”

It’s freezing today, and with yesterday’s snow, winter is well and truly here with December knocking on the door. Cold frosty days, rain and early nights can sometimes leave us feeling a bit blah. And with winter comes Christmas — a time that can be exciting, but also a time when many people feel lonely or overwhelmed.

The Pressure to Make Christmas Perfect

There’s a real pressure to get everything “right”:

• making it special

• creating memories

• getting the turkey perfect

• keeping everyone happy.

Christmas can be a season of giving, kindness, and remembering those we’ve lost. But it can also shine a spotlight on loneliness, grief, and emotional exhaustion.

Grief and Missing Someone at Christmas

Sadness often comes from missing someone special — someone you wish you could wake up with on Christmas morning.

Christmas was my dad’s favourite time of year. Sadly, he died just days before Christmas, and there is always a sadness that lingers. But there are so many happy memories, and these are what I focus on. Talking about him, remembering the fun times, and bringing him into our celebrations helps me feel close to him.

If you’re grieving:

Let the feelings come. Let the “yolk get bigger” for a while. Maybe start a new tradition in their honour — something they would have loved — to help keep their flame burning.

Loneliness Isn’t Always About Being Alone

My first Christmas in the UK many years ago was a little lonely, even though I had my husband and friends. Looking back, it was loneliness for what I thought Christmas should be. I grew up in Australia, and this year I’ll be returning for the first time in eight years.

I was in the “must make it perfect” mindset, starting to feel overwhelmed — but last night I had a lightbulb moment:

“It will be what it will be.”

Memories of Christmas past are strong, but making new memories can be exciting too.

Your feelings are valid. Give yourself compassion. It matters.

Other Reasons People Feel Lonely or Low at Christmas

• Loss of a relationship

• Job changes or workplace stress

• Anxiety or burnout

• Family living far away

• Not wanting to be around big groups

• Feeling overstretched or overwhelmed

Reaching out can be hard, but letting someone know how you’re feeling might open the door to support.

Acts of Kindness Go a Long Way

Check in with friends or neighbours. They may be struggling too and might just need a bit of connection or support. One small act of kindness can mean the world to someone at this time of year.

Managing Relationships and Expectations

Christmas can be tricky — especially when you’re expected to see people you might not usually choose to be around, or if children are between two homes. Setting gentle boundaries can help you get through the day.

Ideas for Self-Care & Reducing Stress

• Have a book and a quiet space to escape to

• Plan a walk or run to break up the day

• Ask each guest to bring a dish so the cooking isn’t all on you

• Set a family budget for presents and food so you don’t overstretch

• Choose a finishing time for celebrations based on what you can manage

• Light a candle in memory or reflection

Wishing You Peace This December

Whatever December and Christmas bring for you this year, I hope you can find some peace, comfort, and moments of connection — with others or with yourself. Sharon

If you need support over the Christmas period

Call Samaritans on 116 123 (freephone). Their English language line is always open.

Text SHOUT to 85258. This is a free 24/7 crisis text service run by Shout.

The Trussell Trust 0808 208 2138  (Help through Hardship helpline) trusselltrust.org Emergency food and support for people in need. Includes a searchable list of local foodbanks. The Help through Hardship line is open Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm

National Domestic Abuse Helpline

0808 2000 247

nationaldahelpline.org.uk Free 24-hour helpline for women who have experienced domestic abuse and violence, with all female advisors. Also offers a live chat and can help to find refuge accommodation.

LGBT Foundation 0345 3 30 30 30 lgbt.foundation Advice, support and information for people identifying as LGBTQ+.The LGBT open on weekdays 9am to 9pm and weekends 10am to 5:30pm.

Cruse Bereavement Support 0808 808 1677 cruse.org.uk Information and support after a bereavement.

The Cruse helpline is open Monday to Friday, from 9:30am. You can check Cruse's helplines page for more information about their opening hours.

The Compassionate Friends 0345 123 2304 tcf.org.uk Provides support to bereaved families after the death of a child. The Compassionate Friends helpline is open from 10am to 4pm, and 7pm to 10pm, every day of the year.

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) 0800 58 58 58 thecalmzone.net Provides a helpline, online and WhatsApp chat, as well as information and support, for anyone affected by suicide or suicidal thoughts. CALM's helpline and webchat are open from 5pm to midnight, every day of the year.

Beat 0808 801 0677 (England) beateatingdisorders.org.uk Offers information and advice on eating disorders, Beat's helplines are open Monday to Friday, 3pm to 8pm.